Reflections on Returning

I flew back to San Francisco on August 23, 2008. A two month journey. The deepest valley was the grief of losing Kulpna so suddenly. Stopped me cold. Couldn't do art research & thankfully, Bryan Ellorimo, my Cultural Guide & exquisite Kulintang player, turned to me in Gen San to tell me, "Maybe we should go to Davao, mam. Your heart is broken..." It was the best advice. I couldn't focus on gathering documentation on indigenous arts & cultural, while grieving for such a wonderful woman.

My exit from Mindanao was amidst the failure of the MOA between the Philippine National Government and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. Once the Supreme Court pulled the MOA, fighting broke out. Land issues in Mindanao are deep and conflicts span generations, if not centuries. I am saddened that the peace process fell apart. I have friends on all sides: the Lumads (Indigenous Peoples-IP), Moros (Muslim Pilipinos) and the settlers (Pilipinos from other islands).

The parents of my niece's high school friend were shot in the head over land issues while I stayed in Davao. My T'boli friends grieve over loosing most of their land to the settlers: 70% T'boli population in Lake Sebu own only 20% of the land. I am told that Datus who stand up to the injustice are murdered. Another datu from a different tribe was indignant that IP ancestral domain was included in the PNG/MILF MOA, and anticipated the war days, maybe weeks before it began.

This was the context with which I traveled Mindanao. But juxtapose this against the time I spent with the Cultural Workers I visited in Lake Sebu and South Cotabato. Although my visit was short, the music shared with us was spectacular--very moving and heartffelt--the "love-laced" tribal chants of the T'boli women and the fast-paced agong contests of the Maguindanaon men, mostly members of Master Danongan Kalanduyan's family, were great highlights of my trip. Meeting a Maranao Princess was a delight I hadn't expected and Ate Bai Bing was such a caring, wonderful person, and a proud Bangsamoro.

Returning to Luzon, especially the Cordillera Mountains was especially healing for me. Reconnecting with friends and relatives in Manila, and especially in Baguio, helped me recalibrate my senses. I needed to breath the fresh air, let the mountain spirits cool me and see the Chico river flow below me, while the Kalingas of Lubuagen celebrated their 100th year of Provincial government. I was caught up with the excitement of a community celebrating the wealth of their tribal music, dance and culture. I am especially grateful to Ruel Bimuyag and the entire Bawer family, who facilitated with their familial warmth, my return to balance, to community belonging and to balance. I am grateful to the community members of the Mabilong Barangay, who welcomed me back with open arms, and with their compassion and generosity, helped me heal my ailing heart. It was in the mountains overlooking Lubuagen that my grief began to fall away. Those mountains bring me a peaceful heart and a clear mind.

And now I am happy to be home. My return visit to Lubuagen brought me full circle. Once I returned to Lubuagen, I was ready to return to the U.S. Can't explain it much, except that my own indigenization of myself is connected to the land & for me that land is the La Union/Cordi area...I am certain my ancestors walked those mountains at one time. I could feel it.

My homecoming a happy one--greeted by Amaya (my grandchild) & Sandino (my son) at the airport & Keenan, Cory & Aja at the house. A simple and quiet homecoming & of course my own bed!!! Then, all my kids, Shy, Alicia, Amaya & Aliyah Sky (my grandaughter) for Dario's (my son) 25th Birthday on August 24th. A perfect homecoming. It's good to be home. THANK YOU FAMILY!!!